a la mode

That's right. Fatty McFatty is back on the scene. Why can't I seem to find the time (really the motivation) to workout? Why? Because things like SaraLee's Cinnamon French Apple Pie exist. I have zero willpower. When I workout and eat healthy I am the one that has to throw out all of the desserts and junk food before beginning my new life. I cant seem to understand why I have so many "farewell to fat" meals, but the fat is still around! I tell my husband ok this is going to be my last unhealthy meal. So, we grab some of that f-ing delicious chicken and I proudly proclaim, "This is my farewell to fat meal!" And he looks at me with those loving eyes because he knows better than anyone that I'm hopeless.

My hubby loves vanilla ice cream with his pies. I wasn't a huge fan, but when you can't beat em... join em. He is also a sucker for apple pie. The other night he told me he liked the apple pie with that crunchy stuff on top. I asked if he was referring to cinnamon, but he wasn't sure. I was 99% positive that's what he meant. So, I reached for my trusty coupon binder and found a $1 off SaraLee desserts. The next day I planned a nice salmon teriyaki with fresh sautéed green beans and brown rice. Of course, for dessert, I picked up this pie I luckily found at the commissary. The instructions were simple enough so I pre-heated my oven and ripped open the box. Ok... where's the center pie crust? I looked down at this pile of apples and thought oh this is going to be gross. My favorite part is the crust and these idiots have taken my deliciousness meter down 50%! Oh well, I stuck it in the oven and added the cinnamon crumbles halfway as instructed. I let it sit for a few hours and I still didn't think it looked all that great. No way was I getting a "THIS IS F-ing DELICIOUS!" comment from this presentation, but I didn't make it from scratch. I remembered the french vanilla ice cream at the store and thought that my husband isn't too picky, I'm sure he will enjoy it.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?? After we ate dinner I grabbed the pie and ice cream. We dug in and I melted into my seat. All that was wrong with the world fled from my mind. It was like everything in front of me turned into swirling circles of colors. Those circles then began to form into dancing apple slices. The apples had cinnamon in their hands and they threw it in the air so that they were sprinkling themselves. One by one they jumped into a dish of ice cream. My husband was staring at me as I stared wide-eyed into space. When I tell you this pie was good... I can't even get the words out... two days later. It was amazing. I honestly believe had my husband not been there I would've devoured the whole pie and not one ounce of regret would've escaped my body. Instead we wrapped it up and placed it in the fridge. As I was clearing the dishes, I couldn't help myself and I grabbed the serving spoon and plunged it into my mouth licking it clean. He laughed and shook his head, but I didn't care. I needed that last little bit before packing it away.

The next day it was all I could think about. How damn stupid I had been for not discovering this years ago. I kept hearing a baby cry, but both of my girls were playing with their toys content and distracted. Again, this crying started up. I realized it was coming from the kitchen. I went to take a look. Yes, the apple pie was crying for me to eat it. It was sad no one had given it any attention all day. I thought how sad and I promised it I would be back for it very soon. We both agreed it was best I lick the top of it, but I told it I'd better not as my husband may want some and I may have a guest over who'd like a slice. So, I closed the refrigerator door and continued to play with my girls. I still heard it cry out, but its sobs died down throughout the day.

Until this evening when I packed in another giant slice along with 3 scoops of french vanilla ice cream. I can not help myself. There are some things in life that must not be ignored... Sara Lee's Cinnamon French Apple Pie is one of them.

There's still some pie left. I did practice a bit of self control. I am seriously contemplating rehab... Hello, my name is Elisha and I'm addicted to apple pie :)