Monday, November 14, 2011

he's not a great liar

My husband is awesome at many things, but lying... not his strength. And thank God for that! When I watch movies like Taken or any zombie end of world movie I never wonder if we'll make it or if my husband is badass enough to save me. My husband never takes no for an answer and is always the knight in shining armor. And that's part of why he lied to me last night. I knew it as soon as I looked into his eyes and heard his voice pitch change ever so slightly. Maybe it's from living with him day in and day out, maybe it's from being a high school teacher, or maybe it's because I'm a great liar myself- but whatever reason it is, I knew his statement to be false.

This is how it all started. I wanted some chocolate chip cookies. I more than wanted them, I craved them. I don't have a sweet tooth often, but when I do it is quite specific. The hubby had to run out and offered to pick me up some cookies, but I said how about just some chocolate chips. I'll make my own cookies. As much cooking and baking that I do, I have never mastered the art of the chocolate chip cookie from scratch. There's either too much or too little of something and they never come out just like I imagine. I want them soft and chewy, but not gooey. They should dissolve in my mouth and the chocolate pieces should be all over my hands and mouth. Haha! While he was gone and the girls were behaving, I quickly mixed up the batter. I followed a new recipe I had received with my Reynolds foil wrap coupon. Seemed to have all the common ingredients needed. I placed the batter in the refrigerator and awaited his return.

After adding in the chips and baking the first batch I knew it... I knew I had once again failed at this chocolate chip mystery. Who the hell can bake a chocolate chip cookie flawlessly? You? Then send me your damn recipe instead of laughing at me. I later reviewed my mishap with my mother and she confirmed my initial thoughts. I dont buy regular butter. We use Smart Balance and I think that played a part as well as some old baking soda. I think it's time for a new box :(

Well, my husband watches me take a bite and asks me how they taste. I admit they are not the best, but they are okay. They are just fluffy. He asks for one and proceeds to sample it. I ask him how does it taste and he says, "It's good" LIAR. Remember, this is the same guy who almost imploded from the f-ing delicious chicken from around the corner. Next thing I know he is Googling how to make Paradise Bakery cookies and offering to make me some! S-L-A-P! Not only are your cookies disgusting, but they are so bad I'm just going to find you a recipe and do it for you. OUCH! I think that hurt worse than the chicken.

I knew they weren't that tasty and I dont need him to pump me up. I was more disappointed in not satisfying my sweet tooth than anything. I tried adding nuts to a batch, smashing the cookies down during and after baking, yet nothing worked. Needless to say, I wont be using that recipe again and I will invest in real butter, a new box of baking soda, and maybe a new taste tester :)

2 1/2c flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon (optional) <---i used it
1 c butter, softened
1 c packed brown sugar
1/2 c granulated sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 package (12 oz) or 2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup coarsely chopped nuts

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