Sunday, September 25, 2011

Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill?

Remember The Matrix? If not, then you probably have been in a good movie coma. Very quick reminder of this line: The red pill stops you from living in the matrix and the blue pill allows you to continue living ignorant to the true reality of the world. My husband loves this movie. I think he secretly wishes he was an agent :)

Here I am one week post-Paris and I'm feeling the same way... like I should've taken the blue pill and stayed in Paris. Eating croissants each morning and walking around shopping, sight seeing and laughing. But, noooo... I had to take the red pill. I had to check out of the hotel, hop on another train and enter the reality that I had so easily forgotten and dismissed.

Today was the first day I have left my house since we returned. Yes, the first day. No walks, no quick rides, nothing. Both of my girls have been sick. One had a fever and both have been sneezing and battling constant running noses. My youngest twin LOVES that little suction bulb for cleaning her nose. She smiles and leans into the tip. The other... the one that is grumpy when she wakes each morning... hates it. She screams and fights. I have to hold her down, while keeping her face in place, and suction all at the same time. She is one strong little 7month old.

My fellow mothers out there... the next time your child is sick and they are sneezing and coughing and cranky, and they exhale through their runny nose PLEASE TAKE A PICTURE OF THE SNOT BUBBLE. That's the funniest thing ever. I know I should clean their noses a little faster, but for just a moment I laugh. I smile and they keep breathing. As they breathe the bubble grows and shrinks. Why does this amaze me? Because I've been stuck in the house all week with two 7month old babies. Have you not been reading?

picture of Marten Animal ImageI have a critter living in my attic. At night and randomly throughout the day you can hear it running around and scratching things. It cries sometimes and I have no clue what it is or how it is getting into our home. The sounds it makes resemble a human body being pulled across the floor.

My landlord tells us it's probably a marten. Which I can only describe as an evil spawn of satan's rat possum chia pet. Whatever it is, it needs to go! We have had this problem since we moved in almost a year ago. He lightheartedly mentioned that the previous tenant also heard noises in the attic. I cant for the life of me understand why someone would want that creature living above them. Here's the conversation I had with my landlord yesterday when he arrived at our home unannounced waking not one but two sick resting babies.

LL: Your husband make a message on my phone and said there was problem.
Me: He did? Well he isn't here now, but I can try to call him. I'm assuming it's the animal in the attic still. (I call hubby who confirms the marten is the issue)
Me: The heating gentleman came to inspect and he told me to give this paperwork to you.
LL: Yes, they come once a year to make inspect. It is no problem.
Me: No, that's not the problem. That is just the paper he told me to give you. The problem is the thing living in the attic.
LL: I dont know what to do. I make trap but it doesnt catch it. I put bowl of liquid stuff to make it stay away but it keep coming back.
Me: Something is going to need to be done. I am not satisfied. This has been going on way too long.
LL: I dont know what to do. Maybe I get guy to come tomorrow and make the lawn and he can set trap.
Me: That is fine. I am really concerned with it being up there and my babies are here. I dont think it's sanitary. I dont know what it's doing up there, like using the bathroom. You know... leaving its feces. (He has a confused look, Im starting to believe something is becoming lost in translation)
LL: Oh no it cant hurt babies. It wont attack them it is in the attic.
Me: Im not concerned with an attack. Im worried about it not being clean with it being up there and affecting my children. (Now I think he is playing the "I dont understand" card. He likes to whip it out quite often. But I'm not in the mood today)
LL: It has been there long time. (insert nervous laugh)
Me: That does not make it okay. It will be living here longer than I will then. Again, Im not satisfied. In the US we have exterminators. Do you have something like that here? Someone who can come to catch and take it away?
LL: No, no, no. I dont know who to call to help. I call tomorrow and try to find someone.
Me: ( Fine. My husband will be here and you two can discuss it.

What a day... it ended with my husband picking up some of that f-ing delicious chicken for takeout and I accidentally told him pommes frites (french fries) when I meant wedges. BOO! Anyone who knows me knows I am a potato connoisseur and I'm not a fan of the bag of crinkle fries when I have seasoned fresh wedges as a choice! And to top it off after cleaning bottles and putting babies to bed, I sit down to devour my chicken... only to find my husband has eaten the entire breast piece off of my half. He still claims he thought he picked his up. I will just pretend that he was helping me from overeating or regaining any of the weight I've lost. Im down a total of 9lbs since beginning this journey even after my Paris trip!

Until my next unbelievable, but true, story...


  1. I can feel your pain... I had squirrels living in my roof space. They're nocturnal so they were awake and scratching while I was trying to sleep and they would attack and growl at anything that went through the hatch... and yes they do go to the toilet up there so he should sort that out ASAP. maybe you can do a search on the internet and give him the details of the exterminators.

  2. I know it's disgusting! He later told my husband that he will hire a professional. If this person doesn't work out I may ask around. I live in Germany and it seems to be a common and accepted nuisance. We've looked up ways to get rid of them and we've tried them to no avail. There aren't really any advertisements about professional exterminators either. I think they may not use the Internet as their primary source. Could be just the area we stay. I will definitely keep you all updated... how did you get yours out?

  3. I called my landlord and he got the experts in to lay traps. Unfortunately I had to wait till they got caught in it before I could sleep in peace

  4. I soooo understand. I dont want to get happy too soon, but the "professional" came out and built something in our attic. I think it blocks them from entering. Ours kept coming in and out. I havent heard anything for the last few days and Im loving it so far!


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